Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA According to a study published Tuesday by sociologists at Princeton University, slapping every single person in a grocery store and then baring one's genitalia in the produce department remains an act roundly frowned upon by modern society. Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion Follow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/theonion More Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video/